Abundance

"Abundance is the simple recognition that what is of value does not decrease in value over time, and does not need to be guarded. What is of value grows in value when it is given away."
Lee Jampolsky "Healing the Addictive Mind" p 67

Amazing Women

Lifted from http://www.jengrantmorris.blogspot.com/ Thanks Jen for many great quotes.

"Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. But most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

"The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree."

I believe there's a lot of truth in this. I also believe it extends to those we choose as our friends. Sometimes it's easier to be friends with the apples on the ground.

But if we gave the effort to "pick" our friends from the top of the tree, the reward would be much sweeter. I know I've been blessed with many friendships that were worth the tree climbing effort."
- Shelley

Fireproof

We watched the Movie "Fireproof" last week.
It's full of important ideas for us to be better women.
Do make the opportunity to see it - you'll be better for it.

Attitude

"Your attitude can open doors to you. Your attitude can also close doors to you."
Radio Pulpit

Take Care

Stop criticising yourself and others.
Stop scaring yourself and others.
Be gentle, kind and patient with yourself and others.
Be kind to your mind and the minds of others.
Praise yourself and others.
Support yourself and others.
Sure there are negatives here: what's good about the negatives in yourself and others?
Care for your body. Show others, by example, how to care for their bodies.
Appreciate what you see in your mirror.

NOW is the hour to do this.
Carry on, carry on, carry on...

Healing From Sexual Abuse

If you, or someone you know, have/has been suxually abused... do see the entry on this blog:

"Healing From Sexual Abuse" labelled "Sexual Abuse: healing from..." http://www.outofmyblue.blogspot.com/

Addiction Recovery

"I define the recovery from addiction as the process of awakening to love. This is the same way that I would define any spiritual journey. Opening the heart to love is the highest human experience, and is what undoing addiction is about...How would my awareness of myself and the world change this instant if I simply put all my energy into welcoming love into my life?"
(Real, genuine, healing, healthy love... I add)
Lee Jampolsky "Healing the Addictive Mind" p4

Self Pity

"Self-pity is one of the worst of all stumbling blocks to the healing of grief." p 110
"The truth is that the empty heart needs work for the hands to do." p123
Catherine Marshall "Meeting God at Every Turn"

Take Time Off

"If I don't take time off and care for myself, I'll burn out. You have to constantly look after yourself so that when you are called upon you have the strength."
Carol Dynatyi

A Good Woman

A good woman is proud of herself.
She respects herself and others.
She is aware of who she is.
She neither seeks definition from the person she is with, nor does she expect them to read her mind.
She is quite capable of articulating her needs.
A good woman is hopeful.
She is strong enough to make all her dreams come true.
She knows love, therefore she gives love.
She recognizes that her love has great value and must be reciprocated.
If her love is taken for granted, it soon disappears.
A good woman has a dash of inspiration, a dabble of endurance.
She knows that she will, at times, have to inspire others to reach the potential God gave them.
A good woman knows her past, understands her present and moves toward her future.
A good woman knows God.
She knows that with God the world is her playground, but without God she will just be played.
A good woman does not live in fear of her future because of her past. Instead, she understands that her life experiences are merely lessons, meant to bring her closer to self knowledge and unconditional self love.
Girl, Smile.....YOU KNOW YOU HAVE IT GOING ON!

So Keep ON Keeping On.

Sent to me by my friend Gail Harris

My Prayer for Each of You

'May today there be peace within.
May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith in yourself and others.
May you use the gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content with yourself just the way you are able to be today.
Let this knowledge settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.
It is there for each and every one of us.'

Pass this on to others.

Received by me from my friend Gail Harris. Fractionally adapted.

Just For Today

1 Just for Today
I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

2 Just For Today
I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

3 Just for Today
I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

4 Just for Today
I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

5 Just for Today
I will exercize my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if somebody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to - just for exercize. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

6 Just for today
I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticise not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

7 Just for Today
I will have a programme. I will not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

8 Just for Today
I will have a quiet half hour just by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

9 Just for Today
I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.


Lord make me an instrument of Thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master,
Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
To be understood, as to understand;
To be loved, as to love;
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

- Al-Anon Family Groups

I Have Learned

I've learned... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of a wise person - young or old.
I've learned... That when I love my husband, I feel peaceful.
I've learned... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned... That having a child fall asleep in my arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned... That I should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned... That no matter how serious my life requires me to be, I need friends to act goofy with.
I've learned... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned... That simple walks with my father when I was a child does wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned... That my life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer my life gets to its end, the faster it is going.
I've learned... That I should be glad God doesn't give me everything I ask for.
I've learned... That money doesn't buy "class."
I've learned... That it's those small daily happenings that make my life so spectacular.
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned... That when I plan to get even with someone, I am only letting that person continue to hurt me.
I've learned... That love, not time, heals all my wounds.
I've learned... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned... That everyone I meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned... That no one is perfect. I can love them anyway.
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned... That I love my children and children-in-law completely.
I've learned... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones I miss.
I've learned... That when I harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned... That I'm glad I told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned... That I should keep my words both soft and tender, because tomorrow I may have to eat them.
I've learned... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve my looks.
I've learned... That when each newly born grandchild holds my little finger in his little fist, that I'm hooked for life.
I've learned... That we want to live problem-free, yet the happiness and growth occurs while we're wrestling challenges.
I've learned... That I get a lot of things done even if it doesn't show.

How to Stay Young

1. Throw out non-essential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctor worry about them. That is why you pay him/her.

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle.
"An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

- George Carlin

Woman

"One is not born a woman, one becomes one."
- Simone de Beauvoir

High Level Living

1. Recognize up-front that your hot button is love, or acceptance or respect.

2. Acknowledge that the only way to achieve the above is to give without wanting in return.

3. This is only possible when you acknowledge that feedback might not come back straight away but that it ultimately has no choice but to come back to you.

4. If your life is not working for you it is simply because deep down inside you are still expecting something in return.

5. Start by focusing entirely on the other person’s needs.

6. Immediately make allowances for that other person such as:
“They might have just lost someone that they love”
“They might never have received love from their parents”
“Their parents might not have been equipped to teach them better”
“They might have been abused”
This will help you to feel more compassionate.

7. Ask yourself what you can do to make that person’s day a little happier.

8. Ask yourself what skills you can develop in order to better serve those around you.

9. Plan time to read up on or study information that will make you more valuable to others.

From: Alan Chazen

The Art of Friendship

Friendships are important in our lives.
Friends may be like us or dissimilar and may be good and valuable friends for many reasons.
Learn and nurture your own Art of Friendship.

Evaluate yourself
A = Always, S = Sometimes, N = Never

Am I a good and worthwhile friend?

I keep promises
I do not criticise friends behind their back
I return things I borrow
I lend willingly to my friends
I stand up for a friend who is being criticised
I say "Thank You" when a friend is helpful
I apologise when I let down or inconvenience a friend
I listen to my friend's troubles
I do some meaningful things for my friend
I can keep my friend's confidences

How do I converse?

I can, and sometimes do, take the iniative in greeting people
I think in advance of things to say
I volunteer information about what I have been doing, thinking, feeling, watching or reading
I can, and sometimes do, express my differering opinion
I ask other people questions/for their opinion
I listen thoughtfully to their responses without interrupting
I draw shy people into the conversation
I say aloud when I agree with what someone has said
I say what part of the expressed sentiment I agree with even if I disagree with other parts of that they have said
I can, and do, tease and joke in an appropriate friendly way

Evaluation:

I am realising:

At present I am a person who has close/casual/many/few friends.
I am happy/dissatisfied with this situation.
I could improve the quality of my friendshipping by remembering to…
What I seem to like most in a friend is…
If I remain as I am now, I might stay an unsatisfactory friend because…
On the other hand I am already a good/satisfactory friend because...

Do something constructive about your friendships today and every week.

The Bend in the Road

Author: Helen Steiner Rice

Sometimes we come to life's crossroads
And we view what we think is the end.
But God has a much wider vision
And he knows that it's only a bend-

The road will go on and get smoother
And after we've stopped for a rest,
The path that lies hidden beyond us
Is often the path that is best.

So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load
And have faith in a brighter tomorrow-
You've just come to a bend in the road.

The Daffodil Principle

Several times my daughter, Julie, had telephoned to say, "Mom, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from my place by the beach to her lakeside mountain home.

"I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call. The next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I got in the car and began the long, tedious drive.

When I finally walked into Julie's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Julie! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and the children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly, "We drive in this all the time, Mom."

"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears and then I'm heading straight for home!" I said, rather emphatically.

"Gee, Mom, I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car," Julie said with a forlorn look in her eyes.

"How far will we have to drive?"

Smiling she answered, "Just a few blocks, I'll drive ... I'm used to this."

After several minutes on the cold, foggy road, I had to ask "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to the garage the long way," Julie smiled, "by way of the daffodils."

"Julie," I said sternly, "please turn around."

"It's all right, Mom, I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church I saw a hand-lettered sign ... "Daffodil Garden"

We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Julie down the path. As we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped.

Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.

Five acres of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen!

"Who planted all these?" I asked Julie.

"It's just one woman," Julie answered, "She lives on the property. That's her home," and she pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory.

We walked up to the house and on the little patio we saw a poster ...
Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking
50,000 bulbs
One at a time
By one woman
2 hands, 2 feet and very little brain
Began in 1958

There it was ... "The Daffodil Principle"

For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun - one bulb at a time - to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top.

Still, this unknown, old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration:
learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time, (often just one baby-step at a time)
Learning to love the doing,
Learning to use the accumulation of time.

When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Julie, "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, "Start tomorrow, Mom," she said, "It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask ... "

"How can I put this to use today?"
~~~
Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards, Author

Around the year 2000 I used to work with Jaroldeen Edwards when she was assigned to South Africa as a missionary. At one of the meetings we both attended she shared this story with us. I know "one bulb at a time" does make a difference as the days and bulbs accumulate.

Care For Yourself

1
Be gentle and realistic with yourself.
Be your own best friend.

2
Remind yourself that you can enable change. You are not a magician.
You do not, nor can you, change anyone else. You might help inspire their change – if they want to change.
Change only yourself.

3
Find a hermit spot. Use it daily. Spend 45 minutes there when you can.

4
Give support and encouragement and praise to your husband and children and friends.
Learn to accept and cherish it in return.

5
Remember there is light in the pain you see. We are all bound to feel helpless at times.
Admit your helplessness without shame or apology.
Caring and being present are sometimes more important than doing any particular action.

6
Learn to recognize the difference between the talking-about-that-relieves and the complaining-that-reinforces your heavy stress.

7
Every day focus on one good thing that happened in your day. Enjoy focusing on that.
Greet your family cleanly.

8
Be a resource to yourself! Get creative – try new approaches.
Be an ‘artist’ as well as a ‘care-giver’. “I would learn The Healer’s art..”

9
Use your ‘Personal Care Network’ regularly as a source of support, assurance, re-assurance and re-direction.

10
Schedule regular ‘withdraw’ periods during the week – limit interruptions during this time.

11
Say “I choose to” rather than “I should/I ought to/I have to”.
Say “I am not able to” rather than “I can’t”.

12
Say “No” more often until you get comfortable with this little word.
A simple kind, straightforward “No” will enable you to find, and keep, your balance day to day, week to week.

13
Keep yourself down-to-earth and realistic. Aloofness and indifference and irritableness are far more harmful to you and others than admitting that you are unable to do more – at least now.

14
Laugh and play regularly on your own and with your beloved others! Find out how to do that…

Acknowledgement: LL Durban NL (adapted) 9/97

Questions to Help You Explore an Issue

Here are some exploratory questions for you to ask yourself that might help you see your way forward in your own life:

Choose an issue in your own life you would like to explore...

Who are all of the other people involved in this issue?

What other areas of my life are affected by this issue?

What developmental stages am I going through now in my life?

What developmental stages are the other people involved with this issue experiencing?

What about this issue might be dangerous/hazardous… to me/other(s)… in what ways?

Who believes what about this issue?
What do I believe?
What do the other(s) believe?

Examine each of the beliefs: which are good and true and useful? To whom?

Which of these beliefs (my own/other(s)) are stereotypes… which are assumptions?

How is the way I am dealing with the situation helping ME?
(I am always helped in some way or other by the way I deal with things)

Who else is helped by the way I am dealing with the situation?

How is the way I am dealing with this issue hindering ME?
(I am always hindered in some way or other by the way I deal with things)

Who else is hindered, and in what way, by the way I am dealing with this issue?

In what way may the “helping” not be helpful?

In what way may the “hindering” not be hindering?

What other alternatives have I tried? With what results? For whom?

Do I persist with methods that do not work for me/other(s)? Why?

The more I … (fill in the blank) the more… (fill in the blank).

The less I… the less…

What are the effects of the way I am handling things? On me? On other(s)?

How are these consequences what I want?

How are they what I do not want?

Are they useful to anyone? Is this what I want?

What would I be busy with right now if I weren’t dealing with this issue?

What is the positive in this situation?
(There is always something positive – not always desirable to me and/or others).

What is the negative in the situation?
(There is always something negative – also not always desirable to me/others).

How can I turn my less effective words/actions/thoughts into more effective ones?

What am I gaining by holding my position on this issue?

What am I losing by maintaining my position on this issue?

Given a choice:
1. Carry on in the same way
2. Do/think/say something different/differently
3. Find out and deal with the underlying issues

Which alternative will I/do I choose? Why?

Will this change be a change towards/away from more effective living? Why?

Can I do it on my own?
Do I need help?
Who might be able to help me?

How will I go about getting help (if I need it)?

Where do I see a start/continuation to my journey in a different direction?

When will I make a change?

What might be stopping me from making a change?

What can I do about an obstacle to turn it into a stepping stone?

I will continue to explore until I begin to see the path forward.
I will take one step at a time as long as I feel, through the promptings of the Spirit, that it is the right step to take in this circumstance at this time with the resources that are mine.

On your marks… get set… GROW!

Some Gifts I Received in My Times of Depression

“Fear not I am with thee – O be not dismayed For I am thy God And will still give thee aid
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand Upheld by My righteous omnipotent hand…"

"When through the deep waters I call thee to go The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress…"

"When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume and they gold to refine…”
Robert Keen - Hymn 85, Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

“Life is filled with harsh realities that tug away at the heart and tear away at the soul.”
M Russell Ballard April 95 General Conference address

All this is happening so that I -
“Get a better sense of myself
(How I see things, what I hear, what I block out, my blind spots, my weaknesses).
“Listen in a deep way. Non-judgmentally. (Who do I choose to listen to now? Why?).
“Understand and know that there are no simple answers – no quick-fixes.”
Dr Linda Powell

“People who like you, think your mentality is better than it is. Those who do not like you, think it is worse.”
Emmet Fox

“If we can handle the rough days, the easy days are no problem.”
Gary Human

“Depression is a developmental stage! It is a signal that something is not quite in order – time for re-assessment… Depression isn’t a feeling, it’s a state. All the feelings have shut down.”
Ann Fisk

“Press forward in quiet dignity and patient maturity.”
Robert L Millett

“I try to do what I want them to do.”
Elder F Monson (CES missionary)

“I’d rather be Moses with the Lord on Sanai than Aaron with the people dancing around the golden calf. Moses or Aaron – take your pick!”
Gary Human

“Are you ever vexed by your own imperfection? Conquering of weakness brings great joy.
Please do not be discouraged by your own weaknesses.”
Russel M Nelson

“I’ve learnt more by the things I’ve failed in than the things I’ve succeeded in.”
“There’s a reason for everything – even if it’s not a good reason.”
“Ask questions! That’s the way to learn.”
Gary Human

“Our hearts must be open enough to get a greater portion of the Spirit.”
Khumbulani Mdletshe

“Anger or bitterness toward those who have hurt you will block your path toward higher ground.”
Vernon Howard

“Success isn’t always visible.”
New Era July ’99 p 42

“The closer we feel to how the Saviour feels about ALL MEN (you included), the more attention and care we give to individuals (yourself included) around us.”
“Most disasters are like the Salt Lake City Tornado, they strike without warning.”
CES Zone Administrator’s Coordinator Magazine

“Boy, it’s tough ‘out there’… but I guess I wouldn’t be out there if I didn’t need it. Sigh.”
Cindy Foxcroft

“I’m not interested in skin-deep holiness.”
Robert K Millett

“We come to Christ by developing our faith in Him, losing ourselves in service to others, and letting our trials refine us.”
Elder Merril J Bateman

“We’re not going to get away from it without a few knocks and bruises.”
Gary Human

“If we’re in the Kingdom, the King is with us.”
Elder McAllister (CES missionary)

“If we don’t study our trends, we crash our aircraft.”
Gary Human

“You need to be down to cope with what’s down there.”
Cindy Foxcroft

“The end is not near. You must learn to cope.”
Sign in Durban CES office

“Your old life is dead – let it die!”
Kay Arthur

“We walk in the middle of the straight and narrow.”
Chris Golden

“God never says OOPS! I (and you) are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. I thank God every day for what I am.”
David Ring

“Rise (in time and/or eternity) to majesty you were born for.”
Elder W Strong (CES missionary)

“Where there is no vision, the people perish. Where there is no provision, the visions perish.”
Jerome Liberty

“Don’t ever let tragedy shake your faith.”
Radio Pulpit

“In the midst of affliction my table is spread, With blessings unmeasured my cup runneth o’er.
With perfume and oil thou annointest my head, Oh, what shall I ask of thy providence more?…”
James Montgomery - Hymn 108, Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

“Debrief – Talk.
Do something creative.
Let the tensions go down with someone safe, and then actually, rationally, work out the problem…”
“Wait. Write it out.
Talk to someone else.
Discharge your anger to a safe place. “
Wait on the Lord.”
Work towards ‘Active Absence of Sorrow.’”
Joan Lusch

“Success – is when you achieve what you want to achieve within your life-time…”
We can lose energy or personal power when the ‘warning lights’ (our emotions) are ignored, or inaccurately interpreted.”
”Keep changing the way you do or say things until you find a way that works for you.”
Stephanie Vermeulen

“Change, over time, as you handle and manage your own progress and growth.”
Judy Bray

“Refuse to be silenced or intimidated by your past.”
Andre Brink

“God made you different to make a difference.”
Radio Pulpit

“You can’t help what happens TO you, but you can control what happens INSIDE you.”
Radio Pulpit

“Sleep. Rest. Take in water. Take in food. Then you are ready to go again.”
Natalie Prins (firefighter)

“Go without knowing wherever He may lead.”
Song on Radio Pulpit

“Rather go without sleep than go without God.”
Radio Pulpit

“If you have a set-back, do not step back. Your test will become your testimony. Your mess will become your message.”
Radio Pulpit

“Patience. Persistence. Perseverance. The three P’s.”
Radio Pulpit

“The University of Adversity…”
Radio Pulpit

“Hang in there and stay true to your essence.”
Barbara Fairbank

“Let go of your tears. Cry them.
Let go of your fears. Let them flow away.
Let go of your anger. Down the plug hole.
Let go of your hurt. Surrender to the Healer.
Let go of your grudges. Give them to Him.
Waiting is a time of testing and purification.”
Dee Sandford

“The Father wants to put you together again.”
Song on Radio Pulpit

“Do not go ahead of the Father’s time. God is the conductor. An impatient musician can RUIN the heavenly music.”
“God chooses the curriculum and also the order.”
Dr Eva Siobi

“THINK instead of react.”
Daniel Coleman

“You are not rubbish! You are of enormous worth.”
Angelo Roseolo

“Jesus touched the un-touchables.”
Radio Pulpit

“Be foolish. Be among God’s foolish that confound the wise.”
Radio Pulpit

“Sometimes you mind is able and your body is dis-abled. You have to get your mind to reach out to where your body is.”
Woman Today

“Sometimes it’s good to sukkel (struggle).”
Radio Pulpit

“Be brave. Be strong. Be patient.”
Kallie Strydom (hostage survivor)

“So often, when things get really bad, people find purpose.”
Nicholas Ellenbergen

“If you are alive, God has some work for you to do. Find out what it is and do it with all your heart.”
Martin Holt

“God has designed us to live simple lives. We have made our lives complicated!”
“Depressions (state of deep hopelessness) settle in your heart. Guard your heart. The spiritual forces of darkness will try to come in where they contaminate.”
“Submit yourself. Allow God to simplify you.”
Prevention of depression:
“Choose your company carefully. Moaners, Groaners, Critics: If they steal the little hope you have, choose other companions as much as possible to counteract these that you must be in contact with.”
“Guard what you watch. Guard what you read.”
“Pray. Be watchful. Be careful. Be circumspect.”
Cure of depression:
“Allow your deliverance to occur.”
“Allow your power to grow. Be fruitful in small things for now. Multiply in small fractions for now. Replenish the earth in little increments as you are able. Subdue the earth. Plant a flower, watch it grow slowly. Find out how to allow your power and fruitfulness to grow quietly and slowly.”
Dr Eva Siobi

“We’re training for reigning. We will benefit by allowing someone to train us.”
Meyer van Rensburg

“Be actively passive. Do as much as you can and wait for the guidance of the Spirit as to when to use what.”
David du Bruyn

“Who walks with God becomes a friend of God.”
Cecile Burger

“I thought I was a sinner because I was wicked. I didn’t know I was a sinner because (I live).
All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Duane Blue

“God didn’t goof when He gave us tear ducts.”
Michael Ballam

“Bravery is the act. Courage is the attitude.”
Anita Roddick

“You must prepare the soil before you plant the seeds.”
Francine Rivers

“We can fall captive to the storm if we take our eyes off Jesus.”
Song on Radio Pulpit

“Give it time. You can’t make it happen.”
Judging Amy TV programme

“When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but at times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us.”
“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.”
“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.”
“The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”
“Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those
who have tried; for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.”
“Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.”
“The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.”
“When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so that when you die you’re the one smiling and everyone is crying.”
Thoughts to Ponder

“Go through Doubt, Disappointment, Disillusionment, Despair. Keep going and growing.”
Tracy Marais Pretorius

“Embrace all your accomplishments.”
Dr Phil McGraw

“Just when I thought I was going to die, I got up and started to fly.”
Unknown

“Every day you live a new way of life. That becomes your history. Make a good history.”
Dr Phil McGraw

“Choose to do something that is relevant.”
Paul Turner

“Happiness is living within your income: Financial, Emotional, Spiritual.”
Judy Bray

“I will water my faith with the tears of my testimony. I will dig into the scriptures.”
Protea Glenn Ward Sunday meeting

“Humility. Simplicity. Compassion. That’s what I want to be known for.”
Radio Pulpit

“We fall down… we get up.”
Song on Radio Pulpit

“Do not complain and argue with God about your circumstances.”
Unknown

“Throw off the chains of bitterness and resentment that hold you bound.”
SAFM 6am Devotional

“Lean upon those who will help you on your journey.”
Unknown

“Take time to feel your happiness.”
Gayle Greer

“God is even greater than believer’s can believe.”
Song on Radio Pulpit

“Insults and assaults not permitted. From anyone else, or from myself.”
Life Line Advanced Growth morning

“Do some things that light your fire and blow your hair back.”
Pat Rennie

“The fastest way to learn is to teach.”
Dr Phil McGraw

“If I could start over again: (complete the sentence)
I would do more…
I would do less…
I would dare to…
I would add…”
Unknown

“ A pit is a horrible place to be… Can God forget you? You’ve got to be kidding!
God wants a few dead men to raise from the dead.”
Radio Pulpit

“Part of maturity is learning to receive. The quivering inside you will calm down.
Proceed on and make better of it. Life will go on.”
Dr Phil McGraw

“Teach great truths silently. The more eloquent our words, the more powerful our silence.”
SAFM 6am devotional

“None but saints can be happy under every circumstance.”
Eliza R Snow

“You have to be patient. If you ain’t patient, you ain’t going to get anywhere.”
Jack MacMillan

“Today’s Survival Kit:
Toothpick - To remind you to pick out good qualities. Matt 7:1
Rubber band - To remind you to be flexible. It will work out. Rom 8:28
Band Aid - To remind you to heal your, and other’s, hurt feelings. Col 3:12-14
Pencil - To remind you to list your blessings every day. Eph 1:3
Eraser - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes. It’s OK. Gen 50:15-21
Chewing gum - To remind you to stick with it. You can accomplish it. Phil 4:13
Mint - To remind you that you are worth a mint. John 3:16
Candy Floss - To remind you that everyone needs a kiss and a hug. Rom 16:16
Herb tea bag - To remind you to relax daily. 1 Thes 5:18”
Life Line West Rand "Speakeasy"

“My family is my world.”
Seventh Heaven TV programme

“You can’t control her, but you can inspire her.”
Dr Phil McGraw

“After a while… you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.”
“After a while… you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.”
“After a while… you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.”
Kelly Priest

“How fascinating! How devastating! Now what can I learn?”
“The conductor doesn’t make a sound. He gets others to make the sound.”
“Dominate the events, or be the silent brilliant conductor.”
“Share how much the lovely playing of others means to you.”
“Instead of beating into submission: Move. Touch. Enliven. Inspire. Invite.”
Benjamin Zonder

“Regret is worse than fear.”
Judging Amy TV programme

“Faith in every footstep" - every day, after every day - just like the pioneers who crossed the wilderness and arrived in their promised land.
Judy Bray

from my notebook “At Work, At Home” - This collection compiled 14th August 2006

The Pearl

Said one oyster to a neighbouring oyster, “I have a very great pain within me. It is heavy and round, and I am in distress.”

And the other oyster replied with haughty complacence, “Praise be to the heavens and the sea, I have no pain within me. I am well and whole both within and without.”

At that moment a crab was passing by and heard the two oysters, and he said to the one who was well and whole both within and without, “Yes, you are well and whole; but the pain that your neighbour bears is a pearl of exceeding beauty.”

From Life Line West Rand "Speakeasy"

The "Box" Exercize

Get two smallish boxes - decorate them both beautifully: one in dark, the other in light colours.

Answer the following questions.
Put your answers on pieces of paper - one paper per question and answer.

What have been my greatest joys in the past?
What are among my greatest joys right now?
What joys am I looking forward to in my future?
What have been my worst fears in my past?
What are my greatest fears right now?
What do I imagine will be some of my greatest fears in my future?
What helped me to feel peaceful in my past?
What promotes peaceful feelings in my life right now?
What might bring me peacefulness in my future?
What angered me in my past?
What angers me now?
What is likely to anger me in my years ahead?
When did I feel competent, confident, cheerful, in the past?
What are my experiences of feeling powerful in my present?
What are likely to be the reasons I might feel accepted and respected in my future?
What setbacks have I had in my past?
What setbacks have I had in the recent past or am I experiencing right now?
What setbacks might I have to deal with in my future?

Sort your answers into the two boxes:
light and lovely reminiscences into the light box, dark and difficult subjects into the dark box.

When you want to, or when you need to do some inner work, take out one of the slips in the box the opposite of what you are feeling:

If you are feeling gloomy, take out a slip of paper in the gorgeous light and bright box;
if you are feeling really chuffed with yourself, draw a slip from the darkly beautiful box.

Ask yourself as you read:
What can I do about this?
Does this have any message or added insight for me right now?
Write your answers on another piece of paper and paste the two together in a journal or scrapbook. Decorate with drawings, photos, cuttings or words, whatever feels right to you.

Add to your dark and light boxes as you want to.

You do not have to deal with or process most things in your life right away -
do "your Work" when you feel able to, or when you discover you need to.

Do your emotional growing by yourself,with a buddy, or professional.
Talk to yourself. Listen to yourself. Learn to increasing Trust Yourself.

"The headlines are screaming all sorts of trial and tribulation…"
"This is the condition under which I live at present… 'this' does not define me, or my whole life."

What will help me live my best way possible for now - day to day, hour to hour - sometimes minute by minute?

Be realistic and practical. "Try a little scrubbing or sweeping (ordinary household duties)."

"Keep a lid on your temper and self pity."

Write your 'stories' as they arise on a piece of paper and put them in one of the boxes.

Acknowledge your dark and light feelings. Deal with them when it is appropriate - when it suits you - when you have the courage and will seek the resources you need.

Ask for help, and get it. Do not be stuck in the "moods" and "mud" - or the "glitz" and "glory" for that matter! - of life for longer than a week or two.

Life is real. Life is whole. Enjoy the darks and the lights, the dulls and the brights of the tapestry of YOUR whole, beautiful life.

With thanks to A. van Dyk for some of the ideas - The "Saturday Star"

My Bill of Rights - and Responsibilities

I have the right to be treated with respect even when I don't deserve it.

I have the responsibility to behave in a manner that deserves respect.

I have the right to be my gender.

I have the responsibility of being as God created me to be.

I have the right to make mistakes.

I have the responsibility of handling the results of my mistakes.

I have the right to ask for what I want, realising I may not get what I ask for.

I have the responsibility to ask for what I want, although I may not get it.

I have the right to ask for emotional support and help.

I have the responsibility of handling potential mocking/rejection and looking further for support and help.

I have the right to increasingly make my own decisions.

I have the responsibility of living with the consequences of my decisions.

I have the right not to be responsible for anyone else's problems or bad behaviour.

I have the responsibility of being respectful to myself, and respectable with others, when I refuse to be involved.

I have the right also to choose to get involved in some of the problems of someone.

I have the responsibility of being resolute with others, and with myself, when I have made my decision.

I have the right to be angry and to express it.

I have the responsibility of expressing my anger appropriately without harming myself, any other person, or thing.

I have the right to say "No" to anything or anyone.

I have the responsibility to say "No" clearly, and to stick to my "No", and make my "No" stick.

I have the right to change my mind and decide to do or say things differently.

I have the responsibility of dealing with the upheaval that may be caused if I change my mind.

I have the right to be successful, cheerful, clever, good, etc.

I have the responsibility to be my "best self" with dignity and grace.

I have the right to make statements that have no logical basis, and which I do not have to justify or defend.
(eg. Intuitive ideas and comments)

I have the responsibility of learning how to be firm, fair and friendly with those who may try to punish me for expressing my honest views.

I have the right to have my own opinions, feelings and convictions about anything and everything.

I have the responsibility to express myself (or not) clearly, respectfully and respectably.

I have the right to privacy.

I have the responsibility of ensuring that I get the privacy which I need or want.

I have the right to grieve.

I have the responsibility to grieve productively so that I move appropriately through grieving.

I have the right to do things independently and alone if I want to.

I have the responsibility of making sure I do things on my own if that is my choice.

I have the right to know and not to understand.

I have the responsibility of dealing with my own anxiety and bewilderment.

I have the right to be my age and at my stage of development towards maturity.

I have the responsibilty of allowing myself to be my age. I may also have to defend myself for only being able to be my age.

I have the right to negotiate for change.

I have the responsibility to speak up for myself when necessary.

I have the right to protest and protect myself from unfair/harmful treatment and criticism.

I have the responsibility of protesting and protecting myself effectively when necessary.

I have the right to 'grow up.'

I have the responsibility of finding how to 'grow up'. I then do it progressively as I am able.

I have the right to choose to live more effectively.

I have the responsibility of learning how to live as I want to, and then doing it.

YOU, ALL THE OTHERS IN MY LIFE AND THIS WORLD, HAVE THESE RIGHTS TOO.

I HAVE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF ALLOWING YOU YOUR RIGHTS.

I WILL ALLOW AND EXPECT YOU TO

TAKE YOUR OWN RIGHTS AND BEAR YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITIES.

Ah, There You Are!

I misplaced my joy this morning. I woke up to find it missing like a set of lost keys. I started looking for it everywhere. I looked for it in the morning paper. It wasn’t there. I looked for it in my books. It wasn’t there. I looked for it in some music. It wasn’t there. I looked for it while I ate breakfast, got the kids ready for school, and headed out the door this morning, but I couldn’t find it anywhere.

When I finally got back home I decided to take a walk. I thought that if I couldn’t find my joy then at least I could get some exercise. The last leaves of Autumn were thickly covering the ground. I walked for a while on this beautiful, crunchy carpet and breathed in the fresh, cool air. It was so peaceful and wonderful. After walking for a bit I stopped and smiled. I suddenly knew where to look. I glanced down and saw my joy peeking up at me from deep inside my soul. It had been sitting there right next to my love and God’s love just waiting for me to find it. “Ah, there you are,” I said. Then I laughed at myself for not knowing where to look all along.

It is amazing how we so often look for joy in every single place except the only place where it can truly be found, within ourselves.

We are like the person running around searching for the glasses that are perched on the top of his head. We need to stop the search.

We need to look deep into our souls and see the joy that has been sitting there all along. It isn’t hidden and it isn’t hard to find. It is there shining brightly right next to God’s love and our love. It is just waiting for us to smile down and say, “Ah, there you are.”

Reach down and grab that joy today. Choose it, rejoice in it and live in it. Take it along with your love and God’s love and share it with the world. And if you ever misplace it again remember where to look for it first.

Joe Mazella