Care For Yourself

1
Be gentle and realistic with yourself.
Be your own best friend.

2
Remind yourself that you can enable change. You are not a magician.
You do not, nor can you, change anyone else. You might help inspire their change – if they want to change.
Change only yourself.

3
Find a hermit spot. Use it daily. Spend 45 minutes there when you can.

4
Give support and encouragement and praise to your husband and children and friends.
Learn to accept and cherish it in return.

5
Remember there is light in the pain you see. We are all bound to feel helpless at times.
Admit your helplessness without shame or apology.
Caring and being present are sometimes more important than doing any particular action.

6
Learn to recognize the difference between the talking-about-that-relieves and the complaining-that-reinforces your heavy stress.

7
Every day focus on one good thing that happened in your day. Enjoy focusing on that.
Greet your family cleanly.

8
Be a resource to yourself! Get creative – try new approaches.
Be an ‘artist’ as well as a ‘care-giver’. “I would learn The Healer’s art..”

9
Use your ‘Personal Care Network’ regularly as a source of support, assurance, re-assurance and re-direction.

10
Schedule regular ‘withdraw’ periods during the week – limit interruptions during this time.

11
Say “I choose to” rather than “I should/I ought to/I have to”.
Say “I am not able to” rather than “I can’t”.

12
Say “No” more often until you get comfortable with this little word.
A simple kind, straightforward “No” will enable you to find, and keep, your balance day to day, week to week.

13
Keep yourself down-to-earth and realistic. Aloofness and indifference and irritableness are far more harmful to you and others than admitting that you are unable to do more – at least now.

14
Laugh and play regularly on your own and with your beloved others! Find out how to do that…

Acknowledgement: LL Durban NL (adapted) 9/97