Growing Older - Life Lessons

Regina Brett - 

"45 lessons life taught me 

– updated to 50 when I turned 50.”

1.   Life isn't fair, but it's still good.

2.   When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3.   Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4.   Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5.   Pay off your credit cards every month.
6.   You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7.   Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8.   It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9.   Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion.  Today is special.

22. Over-prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.

50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.

Patsy Clairmont

When I apply my make-up and do my hair in the morning I often tune into Radio Pulpit.

This morning it was well into a Focus on the Family slot.  Patsy Clairmont was talking.
These are the quotes I jotted down:

"God uses crackpots, and I'm a visual aid."  (I relate to that!)

Her child came back from school early and said "It's (school) is too long, too hard, and it's boring."  Patsy replied "You've just described life.  Now get back on the bus."

"SET your mind:  "I will do exactly as I say..."

She described a scene in which one of her children needed to go to the emergency to probably have stitches.
On the way her son said "What if it hurts more than I can bear?"
Patsy replied "Then you'll reach down inside yourself and pull up your courage."

She later said "It's through pain that we learn some of our greatest lessons."
and "Don't be flaky and flimsy."

And the final I wrote down:  "SEEK Godly counsel and SETTLE your past."

I looked up on the internet to see what she looks like. 
 


I wandered around and found this account by a Susan from a "Woman of Faith" conference she participated in in which Patsy was a speaker:

"During the last hour of Patsy’s time with us, she took questions from the audience. She held the hand-written note cards in her hands and when she saw what was written on one of the last cards, she paused, a shadow of pain passing over her face that had just been creased in smiles a few moments before.

She then read these words, “ I am the mother of two teenage daughters and I have been diagnosed with a terminal disease. I am struggling to hold onto my faith.” 

Still holding the card, Patsy looked out over the vast audience of women and asked, “Honey, if you are okay with this, can I  ask if you would stand up? If you don’t want to do that, that’s okay too. We will still pray for you.”

At the very back of the room, a woman in her forties rose to her feet. Her eyes were dry, her shoulders pulled back straight.

My first thought was, “She doesn’t even look sick.” Just by looking at her, I never would have known anything was wrong.

Another reminder to never assume anything about anybody. We don’t know.

“Honey, would you mind coming up here to the front?”

The enormous room was silent as she walked up to the stage, every eye riveted on her face. The sounds of sniffles could be heard throughout the crowd. I think that every mama’s heart went out to that woman.

Patsy bent down to reach out and take this woman’s hand. She asked her name and the woman told her in a clear voice. Patsy then asked for some volunteers to come surround their fellow sister in Christ.  Several women came to the front, wrapping their arms around her, stroking her hair.

Patsy prayed a most heartfelt prayer and as I looked at the scene before me, I realized anew that Jesus was in this place in a very special way. Until He returns and we are with Him physically, He asks His people to be His hands, feet, mouth, ears, and eyes for Him. Jesus was coming to this woman through the love of His women.

It was a beautiful sight of unity and love."

From Susan's Blog -  http://powerofamoment.com 

I feel blessed to have heard her and read about her.  Thanks Patsy.  Thanks Susan.

Dance the Dance

"Dance the dance of empowering one another."
"Spread your radiance."

Sheila Kelley

My Manager and Me

From Gretchen Rubin - The Happiness Project:

WHY I CONSULT MY MANAGER, AND WHY SHE ALWAYS TAKES MY CALLS.

 Do you sometimes feel as if you’re two people? For a long time, I struggled to identify the metaphor to describe the tension between my two selves—between now-Gretchen and future-Gretchen, between the want-self and should-self. Is it Jeckyll and Hyde? The angel and devil on my shoulders? The elephant and the rider? The ego, the id, and the super-ego?

Then in a flash, I saw how to think about the two Gretchens, and how to think of myself in the third person, as a way better to understand myself and direct my actions. There’s me, Gretchen (now-Gretchen, want-Gretchen), and there’s my manager.

I think I was inspired by my sister’s Hollywood workplace lingo.

Who is my “manager?” Well, I’m (Gretchen) like a fabulous celebrity. I have a manager. I’m lucky, because I have the best manager imaginable. My manager understands my unique situation, interests, quirks, and values, and she’s always thinking about my long-term well-being.

I’m the boss, and I don’t have to take my manager’s advice—but on the other hand, I pay my manager to help me. I’d be an idiot not to pay attention.

These days, when I struggle with something, I ask myself, “What does my manager say?” Often it’s very obvious to my manager what course I should follow, even if I can’t decide (weird right?). It can be a relief to be told what to do; I agree with Andy Warhol, who remarked, “When I think about what sort of person I would most like to have on a retainer, I think it would be a boss. A boss who could tell me what to do, because that makes everything easy when you’re working.”

My manager is the executive who works for me—very appropriate, because my manager is part of my executive function. There’s no need to rebel against my manager, because I am the boss of my manager. (Not to mention, I am the manager.) Out of freedom, I can accept her instruction.

My manager reminds me to follow my good habits: “Gretchen, you feel overwhelmed and angry. Get a good night’s sleep and answer that email in the morning.” “Gretchen, you say you have no energy, but you’ll feel better if you go for a walk.”

My manager stays compassionate. She doesn’t say things like, “You’ll never be able to finish,” or “You’re lazy.”  She’s comforting and encouraging, and says things like, “It happens,” “We’ve all done it” and “Enjoy the fun of failure.”

My manager stands up for me when other people are too demanding. She insists that my idiosyncratic needs must be met; just as Van Halen famously insisted on bowls of M&Ms backstage with all the brown ones removed, my manager says, “Gretchen really feels the cold, so she can’t be outside too long.” “Gretchen is writing her new book now, so she can’t give a lengthy response to that email.”

She makes claims on my behalf: “Let’s figure out how to get you what you need,” “Let’s throw money at the problem.” On the other hand, she doesn’t accept excuses like, “This doesn’t count” or “Everyone else is doing it.” She tells me uncomfortable truths. I can’t sneak anything past my manager, because she sees everything I do.

As an Upholder* however, I’ve learned to be a bit wary of my manager. I love my manager, but I know how she thinks. She’s very impressed by credentials, legitimacy, and pay-off. She’s sometimes so focused on my long-term advantages that she forgets that I need to have a little fun, right now. My manager is helpful, but in the end, I’m the one who must “Be Gretchen.”

How about you? Do you think it would be helpful to think about your “manager?”

Gretchen Rubin

*Upholder—accepts rules, whether from outside or inside. An upholder meets deadlines, follows doctor’s order, keeps a New Year’s resolution.

Questioner—questions rules and accepts them only if they make sense. They may choose to follow rules, or not, according to their judgment.

Rebel—flouts rules, from outside or inside. They resist control. Give a rebel a rule, and the rebel will want to do the very opposite thing.

Obliger—accepts outside rules, but doesn’t like to adopt self-imposed rules.

 

 

I am Free to Choose

"Know this, that every soul is free to choose his (her) life and what he'll (she'll) be."

If you don't like the choices someone else is making...

tell them in the best way you can.

If they persist in making their choices in ways that make you feel angry, sad,

hurt, afraid, frustrated... disconnect from them emotionally.

Find yourself, however long it takes.

Find your truth about this relationship.

Connect with who you are, and who you want to be.

Be fixed in your own purpose.

Live your life, make your own choices for your own good.

If he/she can be a part of your life, reconnect with him/her only in ways you can.

Final and sometimes very difficult choice - let him/her go on their way –

free to choose what they want to choose - without the blessing of you in their life.

Go on your own way, the way you want to live, with the people

you are happy to be around, and the ones who are happy to have you around,

AND are good for you.

No choice is ever simple.

You leave their bad, you also leave their good.

They forfeit your good, they also are relieved of your bad.

Hey LIFE! What a learning experience!

Blessed April 2013 to all of us!

Goals

"If you do not have goals, you will be fulfilling the goals of those who have them."
Quoted on Noeline - 3 Talk SABC TV

Joyous Life

"If we want a joyous life we must think joyous thoughts"
Louise Hay

Live Deeply

Embrace new experiences: go beyond your comfort zone.  New experiences are life. Live deeply. Be who you are: What are your dreams? Your goals? Your loves? Who are you? Be that person.. Let Go of the Past: The past is good for two things: the happy memories, and the lessons it provides. Forgive. Let go. Be here now, and go forward. Be Kind: Recall those many times where you made mistakes, where you reacted out of negative emotions instead of responding from who you really are. Recall how you felt, or how you would have felt, if others responded to your mistakes with kindness instead of harsh criticism or a cold shoulder. Empathize, and choose to be kind. Be responsible for yourself: Whatever happens, only one person is responsible for how you respond to it: you.. You wish others were a certain way? You wish the world were a certain way? Be the example. Nurture relationships: Think of your most joyful moments. Think of all you have learned. Think of what has helped you grow. Chances are great these all involve other people, and other relations such as pets and nature too. You can choose to be lonely, but you are never alone. Recognize all you have and be grateful for it: If you are alive, if you can read this, if you can walk, talk, see, smell, taste, or feel, you are fortunate. Focus on all that you do have. Be grateful to be great. Do what inspires you: Painting, singing, writing, biking, swimming, gardening, reading, dancing, walking-what is your flame? What ignites you, inspires you, enlightens you, restores your life? Do it, and do it often. Remember that happiness is a state, not a circumstance: Happiness is a state of being, not merely a moment of pleasure or joy. By committing to your happiness you acknowledge and accept that there will be times of challenge and suffering, but by staying true to who you are you will not just endure but thrive. by Brian Vaszily, Founder of IntenseExperiences.com

Kaizin

"Do the right things.
Act with integrity.
Be guided by your cleansed heart..
Live a simple life."

Kaizin = Constant and Never-ending Improvement

Focus on MY path

"I need to focus on my path - if I don't show up to walk it, it's going to remain vacant."
Lira

Sorrow

"Sorrow is an inevitable result of loving people."
Luke Nelson
"Two Brothers" 5,000 hour project

Be Satisfied

"Just be satisfied to do what you can do."
Grace Bell

Potential

"When you are not meeting your potential you get depressed."
Source unrecorded

Inch by Inch

"Inch by inch you get to create a new life for yourself."
Previously homeless Harvard University graduate - Liz, interviewed on the Oprah Show.

Lemons and Pain

"Turn lemons into lemonade and pain into purpose."
Fran Dreschner

Remember Yourself Too!

"I do so much for everybody else - I just forgot to put myself in there somewhere.
I could stay in bed and feel sorry for myself... or go out, sing my heart out, get a standing ovation, and get a pay cheque."
Wynonna Judd

Generous Thought

"Never suppress a generous thought."
Camilla Kimball

Dance

"I dance in the rain."
Basetsane Khumalo

True Grit

From a woman who suffered 80% burns caught in the horror of the aircrafts crashing into the twin towers and the Pentagon September 11th 2001

"I've learnt to give myself a break. Never let up - Never stop reaching forward... but do it with patience.
What I've realised is: It's OK to dwell in the moment and... just soak it in, feel the happiness."
Lauren Manning

Just for Today...

1
Just for Today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle all my problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.

2
Just For Today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be."

3
Just for Today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.

4
Just for Today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.

5
Just for Today I will exercize my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if somebody knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don't want to - just for exercize. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.

6
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, keep my voice low, be courteous, criticise not one bit. I won't find fault with anything, nor try to improve or regulate anybody but myself.

7
Just for Today I will have a programme. I will not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.

8
Just for Today I will have a quiet half hour just by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.

9
Just for Today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.

Thank you - 12 Step Programme