1. Recognize up-front that your hot button is love, or acceptance or respect.
2. Acknowledge that the only way to achieve the above is to give without wanting in return.
3. This is only possible when you acknowledge that feedback might not come back straight away but that it ultimately has no choice but to come back to you.
4. If your life is not working for you it is simply because deep down inside you are still expecting something in return.
5. Start by focusing entirely on the other person’s needs.
6. Immediately make allowances for that other person such as:
“They might have just lost someone that they love”
“They might never have received love from their parents”
“Their parents might not have been equipped to teach them better”
“They might have been abused”
This will help you to feel more compassionate.
7. Ask yourself what you can do to make that person’s day a little happier.
8. Ask yourself what skills you can develop in order to better serve those around you.
9. Plan time to read up on or study information that will make you more valuable to others.
From: Alan Chazen
Friday, February 27, 2009
Friday, February 20, 2009
The Art of Friendship
Friendships are important in our lives.
Friends may be like us or dissimilar and may be good and valuable friends for many reasons.
Learn and nurture your own Art of Friendship.
Evaluate yourself
A = Always, S = Sometimes, N = Never
Am I a good and worthwhile friend?
I keep promises
I do not criticise friends behind their back
I return things I borrow
I lend willingly to my friends
I stand up for a friend who is being criticised
I say "Thank You" when a friend is helpful
I apologise when I let down or inconvenience a friend
I listen to my friend's troubles
I do some meaningful things for my friend
I can keep my friend's confidences
How do I converse?
I can, and sometimes do, take the iniative in greeting people
I think in advance of things to say
I volunteer information about what I have been doing, thinking, feeling, watching or reading
I can, and sometimes do, express my differering opinion
I ask other people questions/for their opinion
I listen thoughtfully to their responses without interrupting
I draw shy people into the conversation
I say aloud when I agree with what someone has said
I say what part of the expressed sentiment I agree with even if I disagree with other parts of that they have said
I can, and do, tease and joke in an appropriate friendly way
Evaluation:
I am realising:
At present I am a person who has close/casual/many/few friends.
I am happy/dissatisfied with this situation.
I could improve the quality of my friendshipping by remembering to…
What I seem to like most in a friend is…
If I remain as I am now, I might stay an unsatisfactory friend because…
On the other hand I am already a good/satisfactory friend because...
Do something constructive about your friendships today and every week.
Friends may be like us or dissimilar and may be good and valuable friends for many reasons.
Learn and nurture your own Art of Friendship.
Evaluate yourself
A = Always, S = Sometimes, N = Never
Am I a good and worthwhile friend?
I keep promises
I do not criticise friends behind their back
I return things I borrow
I lend willingly to my friends
I stand up for a friend who is being criticised
I say "Thank You" when a friend is helpful
I apologise when I let down or inconvenience a friend
I listen to my friend's troubles
I do some meaningful things for my friend
I can keep my friend's confidences
How do I converse?
I can, and sometimes do, take the iniative in greeting people
I think in advance of things to say
I volunteer information about what I have been doing, thinking, feeling, watching or reading
I can, and sometimes do, express my differering opinion
I ask other people questions/for their opinion
I listen thoughtfully to their responses without interrupting
I draw shy people into the conversation
I say aloud when I agree with what someone has said
I say what part of the expressed sentiment I agree with even if I disagree with other parts of that they have said
I can, and do, tease and joke in an appropriate friendly way
Evaluation:
I am realising:
At present I am a person who has close/casual/many/few friends.
I am happy/dissatisfied with this situation.
I could improve the quality of my friendshipping by remembering to…
What I seem to like most in a friend is…
If I remain as I am now, I might stay an unsatisfactory friend because…
On the other hand I am already a good/satisfactory friend because...
Do something constructive about your friendships today and every week.
Thursday, February 19, 2009
The Bend in the Road
Author: Helen Steiner Rice
Sometimes we come to life's crossroads
And we view what we think is the end.
But God has a much wider vision
And he knows that it's only a bend-
The road will go on and get smoother
And after we've stopped for a rest,
The path that lies hidden beyond us
Is often the path that is best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load
And have faith in a brighter tomorrow-
You've just come to a bend in the road.
Sometimes we come to life's crossroads
And we view what we think is the end.
But God has a much wider vision
And he knows that it's only a bend-
The road will go on and get smoother
And after we've stopped for a rest,
The path that lies hidden beyond us
Is often the path that is best.
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load
And have faith in a brighter tomorrow-
You've just come to a bend in the road.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009
The Daffodil Principle
Several times my daughter, Julie, had telephoned to say, "Mom, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from my place by the beach to her lakeside mountain home.
"I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call. The next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I got in the car and began the long, tedious drive.
When I finally walked into Julie's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Julie! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and the children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"
My daughter smiled calmly, "We drive in this all the time, Mom."
"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears and then I'm heading straight for home!" I said, rather emphatically.
"Gee, Mom, I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car," Julie said with a forlorn look in her eyes.
"How far will we have to drive?"
Smiling she answered, "Just a few blocks, I'll drive ... I'm used to this."
After several minutes on the cold, foggy road, I had to ask "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"
"We're going to the garage the long way," Julie smiled, "by way of the daffodils."
"Julie," I said sternly, "please turn around."
"It's all right, Mom, I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."
After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church I saw a hand-lettered sign ... "Daffodil Garden"
We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Julie down the path. As we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped.
Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.
Five acres of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen!
"Who planted all these?" I asked Julie.
"It's just one woman," Julie answered, "She lives on the property. That's her home," and she pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory.
We walked up to the house and on the little patio we saw a poster ...
Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking
50,000 bulbs
One at a time
By one woman
2 hands, 2 feet and very little brain
Began in 1958
There it was ... "The Daffodil Principle"
For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun - one bulb at a time - to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top.
Still, this unknown, old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty, and inspiration.
The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration:
learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time, (often just one baby-step at a time)
Learning to love the doing,
Learning to use the accumulation of time.
When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.
"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Julie, "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, "Start tomorrow, Mom," she said, "It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask ... "
"How can I put this to use today?"
~~~
Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards, Author
Around the year 2000 I used to work with Jaroldeen Edwards when she was assigned to South Africa as a missionary. At one of the meetings we both attended she shared this story with us. I know "one bulb at a time" does make a difference as the days and bulbs accumulate.
"I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call. The next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I got in the car and began the long, tedious drive.
When I finally walked into Julie's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Julie! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and the children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"
My daughter smiled calmly, "We drive in this all the time, Mom."
"Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears and then I'm heading straight for home!" I said, rather emphatically.
"Gee, Mom, I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car," Julie said with a forlorn look in her eyes.
"How far will we have to drive?"
Smiling she answered, "Just a few blocks, I'll drive ... I'm used to this."
After several minutes on the cold, foggy road, I had to ask "Where are we going? This isn't the way to the garage!"
"We're going to the garage the long way," Julie smiled, "by way of the daffodils."
"Julie," I said sternly, "please turn around."
"It's all right, Mom, I promise, you will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."
After about twenty minutes we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church I saw a hand-lettered sign ... "Daffodil Garden"
We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Julie down the path. As we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped.
Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns, great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow. Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue.
Five acres of the most beautiful flowers I had ever seen!
"Who planted all these?" I asked Julie.
"It's just one woman," Julie answered, "She lives on the property. That's her home," and she pointed to a well-kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory.
We walked up to the house and on the little patio we saw a poster ...
Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking
50,000 bulbs
One at a time
By one woman
2 hands, 2 feet and very little brain
Began in 1958
There it was ... "The Daffodil Principle"
For me that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than thirty-five years before, had begun - one bulb at a time - to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top.
Still, this unknown, old woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of magnificent beauty, and inspiration.
The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration:
learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time, (often just one baby-step at a time)
Learning to love the doing,
Learning to use the accumulation of time.
When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.
"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Julie, "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"
My daughter summed up the message of the day in her direct way, "Start tomorrow, Mom," she said, "It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of our yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson a celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask ... "
"How can I put this to use today?"
~~~
Jaroldeen Asplund Edwards, Author
Around the year 2000 I used to work with Jaroldeen Edwards when she was assigned to South Africa as a missionary. At one of the meetings we both attended she shared this story with us. I know "one bulb at a time" does make a difference as the days and bulbs accumulate.
Care For Yourself
1
Be gentle and realistic with yourself.
Be your own best friend.
2
Remind yourself that you can enable change. You are not a magician.
You do not, nor can you, change anyone else. You might help inspire their change – if they want to change.
Change only yourself.
3
Find a hermit spot. Use it daily. Spend 45 minutes there when you can.
4
Give support and encouragement and praise to your husband and children and friends.
Learn to accept and cherish it in return.
5
Remember there is light in the pain you see. We are all bound to feel helpless at times.
Admit your helplessness without shame or apology.
Caring and being present are sometimes more important than doing any particular action.
6
Learn to recognize the difference between the talking-about-that-relieves and the complaining-that-reinforces your heavy stress.
7
Every day focus on one good thing that happened in your day. Enjoy focusing on that.
Greet your family cleanly.
8
Be a resource to yourself! Get creative – try new approaches.
Be an ‘artist’ as well as a ‘care-giver’. “I would learn The Healer’s art..”
9
Use your ‘Personal Care Network’ regularly as a source of support, assurance, re-assurance and re-direction.
10
Schedule regular ‘withdraw’ periods during the week – limit interruptions during this time.
11
Say “I choose to” rather than “I should/I ought to/I have to”.
Say “I am not able to” rather than “I can’t”.
12
Say “No” more often until you get comfortable with this little word.
A simple kind, straightforward “No” will enable you to find, and keep, your balance day to day, week to week.
13
Keep yourself down-to-earth and realistic. Aloofness and indifference and irritableness are far more harmful to you and others than admitting that you are unable to do more – at least now.
14
Laugh and play regularly on your own and with your beloved others! Find out how to do that…
Acknowledgement: LL Durban NL (adapted) 9/97
Be gentle and realistic with yourself.
Be your own best friend.
2
Remind yourself that you can enable change. You are not a magician.
You do not, nor can you, change anyone else. You might help inspire their change – if they want to change.
Change only yourself.
3
Find a hermit spot. Use it daily. Spend 45 minutes there when you can.
4
Give support and encouragement and praise to your husband and children and friends.
Learn to accept and cherish it in return.
5
Remember there is light in the pain you see. We are all bound to feel helpless at times.
Admit your helplessness without shame or apology.
Caring and being present are sometimes more important than doing any particular action.
6
Learn to recognize the difference between the talking-about-that-relieves and the complaining-that-reinforces your heavy stress.
7
Every day focus on one good thing that happened in your day. Enjoy focusing on that.
Greet your family cleanly.
8
Be a resource to yourself! Get creative – try new approaches.
Be an ‘artist’ as well as a ‘care-giver’. “I would learn The Healer’s art..”
9
Use your ‘Personal Care Network’ regularly as a source of support, assurance, re-assurance and re-direction.
10
Schedule regular ‘withdraw’ periods during the week – limit interruptions during this time.
11
Say “I choose to” rather than “I should/I ought to/I have to”.
Say “I am not able to” rather than “I can’t”.
12
Say “No” more often until you get comfortable with this little word.
A simple kind, straightforward “No” will enable you to find, and keep, your balance day to day, week to week.
13
Keep yourself down-to-earth and realistic. Aloofness and indifference and irritableness are far more harmful to you and others than admitting that you are unable to do more – at least now.
14
Laugh and play regularly on your own and with your beloved others! Find out how to do that…
Acknowledgement: LL Durban NL (adapted) 9/97
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Questions to Help You Explore an Issue
Here are some exploratory questions for you to ask yourself that might help you see your way forward in your own life:
Choose an issue in your own life you would like to explore...
Who are all of the other people involved in this issue?
What other areas of my life are affected by this issue?
What developmental stages am I going through now in my life?
What developmental stages are the other people involved with this issue experiencing?
What about this issue might be dangerous/hazardous… to me/other(s)… in what ways?
Who believes what about this issue?
What do I believe?
What do the other(s) believe?
Examine each of the beliefs: which are good and true and useful? To whom?
Which of these beliefs (my own/other(s)) are stereotypes… which are assumptions?
How is the way I am dealing with the situation helping ME?
(I am always helped in some way or other by the way I deal with things)
Who else is helped by the way I am dealing with the situation?
How is the way I am dealing with this issue hindering ME?
(I am always hindered in some way or other by the way I deal with things)
Who else is hindered, and in what way, by the way I am dealing with this issue?
In what way may the “helping” not be helpful?
In what way may the “hindering” not be hindering?
What other alternatives have I tried? With what results? For whom?
Do I persist with methods that do not work for me/other(s)? Why?
The more I … (fill in the blank) the more… (fill in the blank).
The less I… the less…
What are the effects of the way I am handling things? On me? On other(s)?
How are these consequences what I want?
How are they what I do not want?
Are they useful to anyone? Is this what I want?
What would I be busy with right now if I weren’t dealing with this issue?
What is the positive in this situation?
(There is always something positive – not always desirable to me and/or others).
What is the negative in the situation?
(There is always something negative – also not always desirable to me/others).
How can I turn my less effective words/actions/thoughts into more effective ones?
What am I gaining by holding my position on this issue?
What am I losing by maintaining my position on this issue?
Given a choice:
1. Carry on in the same way
2. Do/think/say something different/differently
3. Find out and deal with the underlying issues
Which alternative will I/do I choose? Why?
Will this change be a change towards/away from more effective living? Why?
Can I do it on my own?
Do I need help?
Who might be able to help me?
How will I go about getting help (if I need it)?
Where do I see a start/continuation to my journey in a different direction?
When will I make a change?
What might be stopping me from making a change?
What can I do about an obstacle to turn it into a stepping stone?
I will continue to explore until I begin to see the path forward.
I will take one step at a time as long as I feel, through the promptings of the Spirit, that it is the right step to take in this circumstance at this time with the resources that are mine.
On your marks… get set… GROW!
Choose an issue in your own life you would like to explore...
Who are all of the other people involved in this issue?
What other areas of my life are affected by this issue?
What developmental stages am I going through now in my life?
What developmental stages are the other people involved with this issue experiencing?
What about this issue might be dangerous/hazardous… to me/other(s)… in what ways?
Who believes what about this issue?
What do I believe?
What do the other(s) believe?
Examine each of the beliefs: which are good and true and useful? To whom?
Which of these beliefs (my own/other(s)) are stereotypes… which are assumptions?
How is the way I am dealing with the situation helping ME?
(I am always helped in some way or other by the way I deal with things)
Who else is helped by the way I am dealing with the situation?
How is the way I am dealing with this issue hindering ME?
(I am always hindered in some way or other by the way I deal with things)
Who else is hindered, and in what way, by the way I am dealing with this issue?
In what way may the “helping” not be helpful?
In what way may the “hindering” not be hindering?
What other alternatives have I tried? With what results? For whom?
Do I persist with methods that do not work for me/other(s)? Why?
The more I … (fill in the blank) the more… (fill in the blank).
The less I… the less…
What are the effects of the way I am handling things? On me? On other(s)?
How are these consequences what I want?
How are they what I do not want?
Are they useful to anyone? Is this what I want?
What would I be busy with right now if I weren’t dealing with this issue?
What is the positive in this situation?
(There is always something positive – not always desirable to me and/or others).
What is the negative in the situation?
(There is always something negative – also not always desirable to me/others).
How can I turn my less effective words/actions/thoughts into more effective ones?
What am I gaining by holding my position on this issue?
What am I losing by maintaining my position on this issue?
Given a choice:
1. Carry on in the same way
2. Do/think/say something different/differently
3. Find out and deal with the underlying issues
Which alternative will I/do I choose? Why?
Will this change be a change towards/away from more effective living? Why?
Can I do it on my own?
Do I need help?
Who might be able to help me?
How will I go about getting help (if I need it)?
Where do I see a start/continuation to my journey in a different direction?
When will I make a change?
What might be stopping me from making a change?
What can I do about an obstacle to turn it into a stepping stone?
I will continue to explore until I begin to see the path forward.
I will take one step at a time as long as I feel, through the promptings of the Spirit, that it is the right step to take in this circumstance at this time with the resources that are mine.
On your marks… get set… GROW!
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Some Gifts I Received in My Times of Depression
“Fear not I am with thee – O be not dismayed For I am thy God And will still give thee aid
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand Upheld by My righteous omnipotent hand…"
"When through the deep waters I call thee to go The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress…"
"When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume and they gold to refine…”
Robert Keen - Hymn 85, Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
“Life is filled with harsh realities that tug away at the heart and tear away at the soul.”
M Russell Ballard April 95 General Conference address
All this is happening so that I -
“Get a better sense of myself
(How I see things, what I hear, what I block out, my blind spots, my weaknesses).
“Listen in a deep way. Non-judgmentally. (Who do I choose to listen to now? Why?).
“Understand and know that there are no simple answers – no quick-fixes.”
Dr Linda Powell
“People who like you, think your mentality is better than it is. Those who do not like you, think it is worse.”
Emmet Fox
“If we can handle the rough days, the easy days are no problem.”
Gary Human
“Depression is a developmental stage! It is a signal that something is not quite in order – time for re-assessment… Depression isn’t a feeling, it’s a state. All the feelings have shut down.”
Ann Fisk
“Press forward in quiet dignity and patient maturity.”
Robert L Millett
“I try to do what I want them to do.”
Elder F Monson (CES missionary)
“I’d rather be Moses with the Lord on Sanai than Aaron with the people dancing around the golden calf. Moses or Aaron – take your pick!”
Gary Human
“Are you ever vexed by your own imperfection? Conquering of weakness brings great joy.
Please do not be discouraged by your own weaknesses.”
Russel M Nelson
“I’ve learnt more by the things I’ve failed in than the things I’ve succeeded in.”
“There’s a reason for everything – even if it’s not a good reason.”
“Ask questions! That’s the way to learn.”
Gary Human
“Our hearts must be open enough to get a greater portion of the Spirit.”
Khumbulani Mdletshe
“Anger or bitterness toward those who have hurt you will block your path toward higher ground.”
Vernon Howard
“Success isn’t always visible.”
New Era July ’99 p 42
“The closer we feel to how the Saviour feels about ALL MEN (you included), the more attention and care we give to individuals (yourself included) around us.”
“Most disasters are like the Salt Lake City Tornado, they strike without warning.”
CES Zone Administrator’s Coordinator Magazine
“Boy, it’s tough ‘out there’… but I guess I wouldn’t be out there if I didn’t need it. Sigh.”
Cindy Foxcroft
“I’m not interested in skin-deep holiness.”
Robert K Millett
“We come to Christ by developing our faith in Him, losing ourselves in service to others, and letting our trials refine us.”
Elder Merril J Bateman
“We’re not going to get away from it without a few knocks and bruises.”
Gary Human
“If we’re in the Kingdom, the King is with us.”
Elder McAllister (CES missionary)
“If we don’t study our trends, we crash our aircraft.”
Gary Human
“You need to be down to cope with what’s down there.”
Cindy Foxcroft
“The end is not near. You must learn to cope.”
Sign in Durban CES office
“Your old life is dead – let it die!”
Kay Arthur
“We walk in the middle of the straight and narrow.”
Chris Golden
“God never says OOPS! I (and you) are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. I thank God every day for what I am.”
David Ring
“Rise (in time and/or eternity) to majesty you were born for.”
Elder W Strong (CES missionary)
“Where there is no vision, the people perish. Where there is no provision, the visions perish.”
Jerome Liberty
“Don’t ever let tragedy shake your faith.”
Radio Pulpit
“In the midst of affliction my table is spread, With blessings unmeasured my cup runneth o’er.
With perfume and oil thou annointest my head, Oh, what shall I ask of thy providence more?…”
James Montgomery - Hymn 108, Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
“Debrief – Talk.
Do something creative.
Let the tensions go down with someone safe, and then actually, rationally, work out the problem…”
“Wait. Write it out.
Talk to someone else.
Discharge your anger to a safe place. “
Wait on the Lord.”
Work towards ‘Active Absence of Sorrow.’”
Joan Lusch
“Success – is when you achieve what you want to achieve within your life-time…”
We can lose energy or personal power when the ‘warning lights’ (our emotions) are ignored, or inaccurately interpreted.”
”Keep changing the way you do or say things until you find a way that works for you.”
Stephanie Vermeulen
“Change, over time, as you handle and manage your own progress and growth.”
Judy Bray
“Refuse to be silenced or intimidated by your past.”
Andre Brink
“God made you different to make a difference.”
Radio Pulpit
“You can’t help what happens TO you, but you can control what happens INSIDE you.”
Radio Pulpit
“Sleep. Rest. Take in water. Take in food. Then you are ready to go again.”
Natalie Prins (firefighter)
“Go without knowing wherever He may lead.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Rather go without sleep than go without God.”
Radio Pulpit
“If you have a set-back, do not step back. Your test will become your testimony. Your mess will become your message.”
Radio Pulpit
“Patience. Persistence. Perseverance. The three P’s.”
Radio Pulpit
“The University of Adversity…”
Radio Pulpit
“Hang in there and stay true to your essence.”
Barbara Fairbank
“Let go of your tears. Cry them.
Let go of your fears. Let them flow away.
Let go of your anger. Down the plug hole.
Let go of your hurt. Surrender to the Healer.
Let go of your grudges. Give them to Him.
Waiting is a time of testing and purification.”
Dee Sandford
“The Father wants to put you together again.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Do not go ahead of the Father’s time. God is the conductor. An impatient musician can RUIN the heavenly music.”
“God chooses the curriculum and also the order.”
Dr Eva Siobi
“THINK instead of react.”
Daniel Coleman
“You are not rubbish! You are of enormous worth.”
Angelo Roseolo
“Jesus touched the un-touchables.”
Radio Pulpit
“Be foolish. Be among God’s foolish that confound the wise.”
Radio Pulpit
“Sometimes you mind is able and your body is dis-abled. You have to get your mind to reach out to where your body is.”
Woman Today
“Sometimes it’s good to sukkel (struggle).”
Radio Pulpit
“Be brave. Be strong. Be patient.”
Kallie Strydom (hostage survivor)
“So often, when things get really bad, people find purpose.”
Nicholas Ellenbergen
“If you are alive, God has some work for you to do. Find out what it is and do it with all your heart.”
Martin Holt
“God has designed us to live simple lives. We have made our lives complicated!”
“Depressions (state of deep hopelessness) settle in your heart. Guard your heart. The spiritual forces of darkness will try to come in where they contaminate.”
“Submit yourself. Allow God to simplify you.”
Prevention of depression:
“Choose your company carefully. Moaners, Groaners, Critics: If they steal the little hope you have, choose other companions as much as possible to counteract these that you must be in contact with.”
“Guard what you watch. Guard what you read.”
“Pray. Be watchful. Be careful. Be circumspect.”
Cure of depression:
“Allow your deliverance to occur.”
“Allow your power to grow. Be fruitful in small things for now. Multiply in small fractions for now. Replenish the earth in little increments as you are able. Subdue the earth. Plant a flower, watch it grow slowly. Find out how to allow your power and fruitfulness to grow quietly and slowly.”
Dr Eva Siobi
“We’re training for reigning. We will benefit by allowing someone to train us.”
Meyer van Rensburg
“Be actively passive. Do as much as you can and wait for the guidance of the Spirit as to when to use what.”
David du Bruyn
“Who walks with God becomes a friend of God.”
Cecile Burger
“I thought I was a sinner because I was wicked. I didn’t know I was a sinner because (I live).
All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Duane Blue
“God didn’t goof when He gave us tear ducts.”
Michael Ballam
“Bravery is the act. Courage is the attitude.”
Anita Roddick
“You must prepare the soil before you plant the seeds.”
Francine Rivers
“We can fall captive to the storm if we take our eyes off Jesus.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Give it time. You can’t make it happen.”
Judging Amy TV programme
“When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but at times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us.”
“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.”
“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.”
“The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”
“Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those
who have tried; for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.”
“Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.”
“The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.”
“When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so that when you die you’re the one smiling and everyone is crying.”
Thoughts to Ponder
“Go through Doubt, Disappointment, Disillusionment, Despair. Keep going and growing.”
Tracy Marais Pretorius
“Embrace all your accomplishments.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“Just when I thought I was going to die, I got up and started to fly.”
Unknown
“Every day you live a new way of life. That becomes your history. Make a good history.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“Choose to do something that is relevant.”
Paul Turner
“Happiness is living within your income: Financial, Emotional, Spiritual.”
Judy Bray
“I will water my faith with the tears of my testimony. I will dig into the scriptures.”
Protea Glenn Ward Sunday meeting
“Humility. Simplicity. Compassion. That’s what I want to be known for.”
Radio Pulpit
“We fall down… we get up.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Do not complain and argue with God about your circumstances.”
Unknown
“Throw off the chains of bitterness and resentment that hold you bound.”
SAFM 6am Devotional
“Lean upon those who will help you on your journey.”
Unknown
“Take time to feel your happiness.”
Gayle Greer
“God is even greater than believer’s can believe.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Insults and assaults not permitted. From anyone else, or from myself.”
Life Line Advanced Growth morning
“Do some things that light your fire and blow your hair back.”
Pat Rennie
“The fastest way to learn is to teach.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“If I could start over again: (complete the sentence)
I would do more…
I would do less…
I would dare to…
I would add…”
Unknown
“ A pit is a horrible place to be… Can God forget you? You’ve got to be kidding!
God wants a few dead men to raise from the dead.”
Radio Pulpit
“Part of maturity is learning to receive. The quivering inside you will calm down.
Proceed on and make better of it. Life will go on.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“Teach great truths silently. The more eloquent our words, the more powerful our silence.”
SAFM 6am devotional
“None but saints can be happy under every circumstance.”
Eliza R Snow
“You have to be patient. If you ain’t patient, you ain’t going to get anywhere.”
Jack MacMillan
“Today’s Survival Kit:
Toothpick - To remind you to pick out good qualities. Matt 7:1
Rubber band - To remind you to be flexible. It will work out. Rom 8:28
Band Aid - To remind you to heal your, and other’s, hurt feelings. Col 3:12-14
Pencil - To remind you to list your blessings every day. Eph 1:3
Eraser - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes. It’s OK. Gen 50:15-21
Chewing gum - To remind you to stick with it. You can accomplish it. Phil 4:13
Mint - To remind you that you are worth a mint. John 3:16
Candy Floss - To remind you that everyone needs a kiss and a hug. Rom 16:16
Herb tea bag - To remind you to relax daily. 1 Thes 5:18”
Life Line West Rand "Speakeasy"
“My family is my world.”
Seventh Heaven TV programme
“You can’t control her, but you can inspire her.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“After a while… you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.”
“After a while… you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.”
“After a while… you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.”
Kelly Priest
“How fascinating! How devastating! Now what can I learn?”
“The conductor doesn’t make a sound. He gets others to make the sound.”
“Dominate the events, or be the silent brilliant conductor.”
“Share how much the lovely playing of others means to you.”
“Instead of beating into submission: Move. Touch. Enliven. Inspire. Invite.”
Benjamin Zonder
“Regret is worse than fear.”
Judging Amy TV programme
“Faith in every footstep" - every day, after every day - just like the pioneers who crossed the wilderness and arrived in their promised land.
Judy Bray
from my notebook “At Work, At Home” - This collection compiled 14th August 2006
I’ll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand Upheld by My righteous omnipotent hand…"
"When through the deep waters I call thee to go The rivers of sorrow shall not thee o’erflow,
For I will be with thee, thy troubles to bless And sanctify to thee thy deepest distress…"
"When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie, My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design Thy dross to consume and they gold to refine…”
Robert Keen - Hymn 85, Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
“Life is filled with harsh realities that tug away at the heart and tear away at the soul.”
M Russell Ballard April 95 General Conference address
All this is happening so that I -
“Get a better sense of myself
(How I see things, what I hear, what I block out, my blind spots, my weaknesses).
“Listen in a deep way. Non-judgmentally. (Who do I choose to listen to now? Why?).
“Understand and know that there are no simple answers – no quick-fixes.”
Dr Linda Powell
“People who like you, think your mentality is better than it is. Those who do not like you, think it is worse.”
Emmet Fox
“If we can handle the rough days, the easy days are no problem.”
Gary Human
“Depression is a developmental stage! It is a signal that something is not quite in order – time for re-assessment… Depression isn’t a feeling, it’s a state. All the feelings have shut down.”
Ann Fisk
“Press forward in quiet dignity and patient maturity.”
Robert L Millett
“I try to do what I want them to do.”
Elder F Monson (CES missionary)
“I’d rather be Moses with the Lord on Sanai than Aaron with the people dancing around the golden calf. Moses or Aaron – take your pick!”
Gary Human
“Are you ever vexed by your own imperfection? Conquering of weakness brings great joy.
Please do not be discouraged by your own weaknesses.”
Russel M Nelson
“I’ve learnt more by the things I’ve failed in than the things I’ve succeeded in.”
“There’s a reason for everything – even if it’s not a good reason.”
“Ask questions! That’s the way to learn.”
Gary Human
“Our hearts must be open enough to get a greater portion of the Spirit.”
Khumbulani Mdletshe
“Anger or bitterness toward those who have hurt you will block your path toward higher ground.”
Vernon Howard
“Success isn’t always visible.”
New Era July ’99 p 42
“The closer we feel to how the Saviour feels about ALL MEN (you included), the more attention and care we give to individuals (yourself included) around us.”
“Most disasters are like the Salt Lake City Tornado, they strike without warning.”
CES Zone Administrator’s Coordinator Magazine
“Boy, it’s tough ‘out there’… but I guess I wouldn’t be out there if I didn’t need it. Sigh.”
Cindy Foxcroft
“I’m not interested in skin-deep holiness.”
Robert K Millett
“We come to Christ by developing our faith in Him, losing ourselves in service to others, and letting our trials refine us.”
Elder Merril J Bateman
“We’re not going to get away from it without a few knocks and bruises.”
Gary Human
“If we’re in the Kingdom, the King is with us.”
Elder McAllister (CES missionary)
“If we don’t study our trends, we crash our aircraft.”
Gary Human
“You need to be down to cope with what’s down there.”
Cindy Foxcroft
“The end is not near. You must learn to cope.”
Sign in Durban CES office
“Your old life is dead – let it die!”
Kay Arthur
“We walk in the middle of the straight and narrow.”
Chris Golden
“God never says OOPS! I (and you) are fearfully and wonderfully made by God. I thank God every day for what I am.”
David Ring
“Rise (in time and/or eternity) to majesty you were born for.”
Elder W Strong (CES missionary)
“Where there is no vision, the people perish. Where there is no provision, the visions perish.”
Jerome Liberty
“Don’t ever let tragedy shake your faith.”
Radio Pulpit
“In the midst of affliction my table is spread, With blessings unmeasured my cup runneth o’er.
With perfume and oil thou annointest my head, Oh, what shall I ask of thy providence more?…”
James Montgomery - Hymn 108, Hymns of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
“Debrief – Talk.
Do something creative.
Let the tensions go down with someone safe, and then actually, rationally, work out the problem…”
“Wait. Write it out.
Talk to someone else.
Discharge your anger to a safe place. “
Wait on the Lord.”
Work towards ‘Active Absence of Sorrow.’”
Joan Lusch
“Success – is when you achieve what you want to achieve within your life-time…”
We can lose energy or personal power when the ‘warning lights’ (our emotions) are ignored, or inaccurately interpreted.”
”Keep changing the way you do or say things until you find a way that works for you.”
Stephanie Vermeulen
“Change, over time, as you handle and manage your own progress and growth.”
Judy Bray
“Refuse to be silenced or intimidated by your past.”
Andre Brink
“God made you different to make a difference.”
Radio Pulpit
“You can’t help what happens TO you, but you can control what happens INSIDE you.”
Radio Pulpit
“Sleep. Rest. Take in water. Take in food. Then you are ready to go again.”
Natalie Prins (firefighter)
“Go without knowing wherever He may lead.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Rather go without sleep than go without God.”
Radio Pulpit
“If you have a set-back, do not step back. Your test will become your testimony. Your mess will become your message.”
Radio Pulpit
“Patience. Persistence. Perseverance. The three P’s.”
Radio Pulpit
“The University of Adversity…”
Radio Pulpit
“Hang in there and stay true to your essence.”
Barbara Fairbank
“Let go of your tears. Cry them.
Let go of your fears. Let them flow away.
Let go of your anger. Down the plug hole.
Let go of your hurt. Surrender to the Healer.
Let go of your grudges. Give them to Him.
Waiting is a time of testing and purification.”
Dee Sandford
“The Father wants to put you together again.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Do not go ahead of the Father’s time. God is the conductor. An impatient musician can RUIN the heavenly music.”
“God chooses the curriculum and also the order.”
Dr Eva Siobi
“THINK instead of react.”
Daniel Coleman
“You are not rubbish! You are of enormous worth.”
Angelo Roseolo
“Jesus touched the un-touchables.”
Radio Pulpit
“Be foolish. Be among God’s foolish that confound the wise.”
Radio Pulpit
“Sometimes you mind is able and your body is dis-abled. You have to get your mind to reach out to where your body is.”
Woman Today
“Sometimes it’s good to sukkel (struggle).”
Radio Pulpit
“Be brave. Be strong. Be patient.”
Kallie Strydom (hostage survivor)
“So often, when things get really bad, people find purpose.”
Nicholas Ellenbergen
“If you are alive, God has some work for you to do. Find out what it is and do it with all your heart.”
Martin Holt
“God has designed us to live simple lives. We have made our lives complicated!”
“Depressions (state of deep hopelessness) settle in your heart. Guard your heart. The spiritual forces of darkness will try to come in where they contaminate.”
“Submit yourself. Allow God to simplify you.”
Prevention of depression:
“Choose your company carefully. Moaners, Groaners, Critics: If they steal the little hope you have, choose other companions as much as possible to counteract these that you must be in contact with.”
“Guard what you watch. Guard what you read.”
“Pray. Be watchful. Be careful. Be circumspect.”
Cure of depression:
“Allow your deliverance to occur.”
“Allow your power to grow. Be fruitful in small things for now. Multiply in small fractions for now. Replenish the earth in little increments as you are able. Subdue the earth. Plant a flower, watch it grow slowly. Find out how to allow your power and fruitfulness to grow quietly and slowly.”
Dr Eva Siobi
“We’re training for reigning. We will benefit by allowing someone to train us.”
Meyer van Rensburg
“Be actively passive. Do as much as you can and wait for the guidance of the Spirit as to when to use what.”
David du Bruyn
“Who walks with God becomes a friend of God.”
Cecile Burger
“I thought I was a sinner because I was wicked. I didn’t know I was a sinner because (I live).
All have sinned and come short of the glory of God.”
Duane Blue
“God didn’t goof when He gave us tear ducts.”
Michael Ballam
“Bravery is the act. Courage is the attitude.”
Anita Roddick
“You must prepare the soil before you plant the seeds.”
Francine Rivers
“We can fall captive to the storm if we take our eyes off Jesus.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Give it time. You can’t make it happen.”
Judging Amy TV programme
“When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but at times we look so long at the closed door that we don’t see the one which has been opened for us.”
“It’s true that we don’t know what we’ve got until we lose it, but it’s also true that we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.”
“May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.”
“The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.”
“Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those
who have tried; for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.”
“Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.”
“The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can’t go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.”
“When you were born you were crying and everyone else was smiling. Live your life so that when you die you’re the one smiling and everyone is crying.”
Thoughts to Ponder
“Go through Doubt, Disappointment, Disillusionment, Despair. Keep going and growing.”
Tracy Marais Pretorius
“Embrace all your accomplishments.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“Just when I thought I was going to die, I got up and started to fly.”
Unknown
“Every day you live a new way of life. That becomes your history. Make a good history.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“Choose to do something that is relevant.”
Paul Turner
“Happiness is living within your income: Financial, Emotional, Spiritual.”
Judy Bray
“I will water my faith with the tears of my testimony. I will dig into the scriptures.”
Protea Glenn Ward Sunday meeting
“Humility. Simplicity. Compassion. That’s what I want to be known for.”
Radio Pulpit
“We fall down… we get up.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Do not complain and argue with God about your circumstances.”
Unknown
“Throw off the chains of bitterness and resentment that hold you bound.”
SAFM 6am Devotional
“Lean upon those who will help you on your journey.”
Unknown
“Take time to feel your happiness.”
Gayle Greer
“God is even greater than believer’s can believe.”
Song on Radio Pulpit
“Insults and assaults not permitted. From anyone else, or from myself.”
Life Line Advanced Growth morning
“Do some things that light your fire and blow your hair back.”
Pat Rennie
“The fastest way to learn is to teach.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“If I could start over again: (complete the sentence)
I would do more…
I would do less…
I would dare to…
I would add…”
Unknown
“ A pit is a horrible place to be… Can God forget you? You’ve got to be kidding!
God wants a few dead men to raise from the dead.”
Radio Pulpit
“Part of maturity is learning to receive. The quivering inside you will calm down.
Proceed on and make better of it. Life will go on.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“Teach great truths silently. The more eloquent our words, the more powerful our silence.”
SAFM 6am devotional
“None but saints can be happy under every circumstance.”
Eliza R Snow
“You have to be patient. If you ain’t patient, you ain’t going to get anywhere.”
Jack MacMillan
“Today’s Survival Kit:
Toothpick - To remind you to pick out good qualities. Matt 7:1
Rubber band - To remind you to be flexible. It will work out. Rom 8:28
Band Aid - To remind you to heal your, and other’s, hurt feelings. Col 3:12-14
Pencil - To remind you to list your blessings every day. Eph 1:3
Eraser - To remind you that everyone makes mistakes. It’s OK. Gen 50:15-21
Chewing gum - To remind you to stick with it. You can accomplish it. Phil 4:13
Mint - To remind you that you are worth a mint. John 3:16
Candy Floss - To remind you that everyone needs a kiss and a hug. Rom 16:16
Herb tea bag - To remind you to relax daily. 1 Thes 5:18”
Life Line West Rand "Speakeasy"
“My family is my world.”
Seventh Heaven TV programme
“You can’t control her, but you can inspire her.”
Dr Phil McGraw
“After a while… you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.”
“After a while… you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.”
“After a while… you learn that you really can endure… that you really are strong.
And you really do have worth.”
Kelly Priest
“How fascinating! How devastating! Now what can I learn?”
“The conductor doesn’t make a sound. He gets others to make the sound.”
“Dominate the events, or be the silent brilliant conductor.”
“Share how much the lovely playing of others means to you.”
“Instead of beating into submission: Move. Touch. Enliven. Inspire. Invite.”
Benjamin Zonder
“Regret is worse than fear.”
Judging Amy TV programme
“Faith in every footstep" - every day, after every day - just like the pioneers who crossed the wilderness and arrived in their promised land.
Judy Bray
from my notebook “At Work, At Home” - This collection compiled 14th August 2006
Sunday, February 1, 2009
The Pearl
Said one oyster to a neighbouring oyster, “I have a very great pain within me. It is heavy and round, and I am in distress.”
And the other oyster replied with haughty complacence, “Praise be to the heavens and the sea, I have no pain within me. I am well and whole both within and without.”
At that moment a crab was passing by and heard the two oysters, and he said to the one who was well and whole both within and without, “Yes, you are well and whole; but the pain that your neighbour bears is a pearl of exceeding beauty.”
From Life Line West Rand "Speakeasy"
And the other oyster replied with haughty complacence, “Praise be to the heavens and the sea, I have no pain within me. I am well and whole both within and without.”
At that moment a crab was passing by and heard the two oysters, and he said to the one who was well and whole both within and without, “Yes, you are well and whole; but the pain that your neighbour bears is a pearl of exceeding beauty.”
From Life Line West Rand "Speakeasy"
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